Sunday, July 25, 2004
Words serve as a way of expressing ourselves, our innermost thoughts and feelings..
sometimes, words fail us..
some things are indescribable with mere words..
it has been a week since renaissance XIV.. everything has more or less settled down.. whether it signifies the end of my life as a clarinettist, or it paves the way for a new beginning, i don't know.. all i can say, is that my interest in music has certainly not died, and if there would be a chance to join a band outside, i would not hesitate to, after my A's
now, i'm giving myself a 4-month hiatus from music, and concentrate on my much neglected studies..
now about the highly entertaining, critically acclaimed RENAISSANCE XIV.. watching mark, jeremy, pavin, binghong, terrence; the rest of the clarinet section, the whole sjimb playing was painfully poignant, but at the same time, lifting.. i'm so proud of those guys.. i've seen them grow up from mischievously haughty sec1s to fully fledged sec4 bandsmen, leading the juniors the way i lead them..
looking back, i was kind of a tyrant, a cold-blooded sadistic section leader/student conductor yah? i can't help but feel that my juniors had really suffered under me.. i remember throwing drumsticks when i was conducting the band; shouting, swearing and screaming at people who played badly.. i recall giving copious amounts of push-ups to my section at the school track under the merciless scorching hot sun, coupled with my incessant rantings.. i don't know how my juniors internalized my actions back then, but i hope they understood my reasons but being firm and unwavering.. :-) i hope that these guys would never forget about the times they spent in the band, no matter where they go.. the time i spent in the band was a tough, yet meaningful and happy one, and i hope their's was too.. lets cherish these wonderful moments forever..
"you can leave the sjimb, but the sjimb never leaves you.."
Julian tan
in life, we want to selfishly hold on to the things that we treasure so much.. yet, in due course, we have to inevitably learn to let go, in order to move on.. what we CAN keep, are just memories.. but what memories! hmmm.. if i can still play on, i would certainly want to be part of renaissance XV..
friday's attendance was rather poor, but nevertheless the band never let down our audience.. most of the songs went smoothly, and i'm sure the crowd enjoyed the show, albeit in a low-key fashion..
saturday proved to be such a bash! the performing arts centre was filled to the brim! haha.. some poor souls didn't even have a seat! the alumni band played 3 pieces: "karachi boulevard", "wind of change" a a japanese cartoon theme song--i think it's called "come on rangers!" haha.. how cute! my solo for karachi went rather smoothly.. i decided to play it out loud! haha i blew my instrument at about 75% of my dynamic range.. and people who know how i play the clarinet should know how i can blast the instrument! even with a size 4 reed! i tink my dynamic level in professional terminology was a "
fff".. i dun really know how it sounds to the crowd, but according to mingli and some others, it was quite loud and nice! haha thanks guys for your support! i appreciate the applause i received after the solo too! :-) lets not get carried away yah? haha..
renaissance xiv was to me, a kind of tribute to my frens who gave so much in their love of music, and are deciding to give up music altogether.. sad it is, but like i said earlier, we have to learn to let go of some things in our lives, to move on..
music, like liguistics, canvas art and other variations of performing arts, is a form of expression.. our mind has an unique ability to translate, convert and process our thoughts to various tangible forms, and tools like musical instruments, writting material, the paint brushes etc help us express ourselves, and while we cannot possibly fully express and show our feelings, these methods release some of emotions.. the process of purging the soul is called: catharsis.. hence, poetry, words, paintings, sculptures and music are manifestations of what our heart feels strongly for.. music expresses the inexpressible..
the saint joseph's institution military band-the best of its kind..
