Saturday, July 31, 2004
hmm its good sometimes to know your audience..
i wonder who are the visitors to my weblog.. :-)
perhaps leave a remark on the tagboard on the right? hehe
-julian
love in a life, life in a love
night falls
everyone are warmly bundled up their homes..
just another day in november
another chilly night
the town is in standstill
suspended animation, stasis--almost
such peacefulness, a charming calm
wonderful respite for the mind..
a sheen of silence
an aura of warmth
when it rains, it pours
especially when we loath it
a stroll away from civilisation
finding myself
searching for food for the soul
exploring my mental faculties
kneeling on undergrowth
a cocktail of emotions
emotionally charged to the brim
critical point--breakdown
whipped by waves of rain, head bowed:
they said if i loved you
i had to let you go
sure, it would be selfish to try to hold on to you
but why is letting go so difficult?
detachment seems like amputation,
--without anesthesia
human emotional attachments,
--cursed
such pain,
--immensely unbearable
why in the first place do people develop feelings for each other?
--philia, agape, eros: nonsense
why do we develop these feelings
when inside us we are aware that one day
it would disintegrate?
is it worth it?
you are long gone
i'm grieving, and grieving alone
recollection of thoughts
a mental walk down memory lane
i lift my head, i look ahead
at your headstone
with such fond tenderness
-why?
if we know that one day,
these attachments would evaporate
why in the first place would we want to develop them?
nothing can bring you back
nobody, nothing, not even yourself
still, you will forever linger in my mind
a constant reminder of the stark cruelty of reality
that we must treasure what we've got
grieve, sorrow and regret can bring nothing back
nothing.
standing up and walking away..
in my strides,
i keep telling myself that i must be strong
in front of everyone
we maintain a strong front
but just how long can we put up a facade?
its just so... so... tiring..
inevitably, there are times, when
recesses--avenues, that are a rarity, appear
they allow our innermost feelings to come to play
we break down... and cry... alone
after these lapse in time
we must quickly forget these thoughts, if only temporarily
and we must pick up from where we've left off
its right to look forward
its essential to be optimistic
but sometimes, we must look back
and cherish the events, the people and things that had shaped our lives
even, if there are gone
Julian tan
