Wednesday, April 28, 2004
The angst of an uphill struggle
talked to jason hui over the last few days and we agreed, that how shitty it would feel, if we end up with lousy, mediocre grades that don't reflect out true potential.. but every time i try, i do try believe me, to starve off the disease of skipping school, there'll always be a stupid setback goddamn it! be it the incapable geog teachers, my broken lenses, my frail health, i can't seem to attend school properly, hence my nickname, "virtual student"
what's a BBB grade? listen: everyone has different potentials.. it is only when we realise our
own potential, that we should be satisfied.. not the average potential of the class, the school, or my frens.. MY OWN POTENTIAL! a BBB grade presently in my class would be like the best grades by a mile? i cannot stand the obstacles that are stifling my mental development, be it teachers, lousy notes, lousy lecturer etc.. let be reinstate the fact that i am a perfectionist.. over the past 6 years, i've been, rather painstakingly, trying to create a brain, that is capable of churning out top-drawer quality thoughts.. while people are trying to study, i've been trying to figure out how to have think, in order facilitate the flow of ideas from my brain, to paper.. if u can imagine, a brain is like a collection of strings, which are intricately linked, forming a sophisticated web of lines.. if we are able to fine-tune these strings, then it'll respond to the slightest of changes we observe, and at a rapid rate of thought.. mental processes, speed of thought, wit, brain power, imaginative potential, physics engine are some of the components of my mind that i seek to constantly develop.. i can't stand flaws and imperfection.. being the ponderer that i am, everytime i feel that my mind has done something that i think is not up to my high exacting standards, i'll think a a better method of thinking, to try change my though patterns.. its similar to computer files' patches.. i constantly update and renew my mind.. the ultimate aim, for me, is to have a mind that that can provide perfect, intricate information on demand.. i feel i'm almost reaching the pinnacle of my brain's potential..
however, on the flipside, it sure has its drawbacks.. one of which, is that this highly strung, fine-tune mind of mine, which i always use at full trottle, and it always works on the edge, consumes energy at an alarmingly rapid rate.. as a result, i feel tired easily. it drains energy away so quickly..
and it doesn't help if you've a weak body, like mine..
enough said. its time to put into use this brain of mine, which has been in hibernation for so long, to use.. whatever the outcome, i cannot predict.. whether it will amaze me, let time tell.. its time to apply my mind to my academic studies.. today, is the starting point.. it'll be a marathon, culminating at the A's.. here i go!
