Monday, September 01, 2003
"
Love is like a butterfly.. hold it lightly, and it'll fly away.. hold it too tightly, and it'll be crushed.." i guess this sums up love.. it is just so complicated.. one cannot fully understand love.. he/she can only experience bits and pieces of it, when he/she is in love.. of course, it'll strike the person's emotions, and then we can say he/she is "in love".. but, experiencing and understanding are two different things altogether, worlds apart.. sure, one can feel what is love, i'm sure everyone can, cynics aside.. but if we were to break down out emotions about love, and try to understand it, and ask ourselves questions like "why do i fall in love?" or "what causes love to diminish?" we're dumbfounded..
since i became single, i've been a shadow of my former self, at least in my inner thoughts.. outside, on the surface, i appear strong, firm and happy with what i have.. i tried to smile and laugh.. but inside me, i am engulfed in flames.. my soul is being consumed by sadness and other hues of negative emotions.. it is because of my nature.. i prefer to bottle up my feelings, and would rather not trouble my frens with my problems, and suffer alone.. hehe i pity the readers of this blog, as they've to bear with my problems, as this is the only outlet where i can pour out my feelings.. i felt no difference when i got 2/25 for my geog test and when i got 30/30 for my maths test.. maybe i've some psychological problems.. but i think that its because i find difficulties in feeling happy.. my mind is in nowhere.. it has been drifting, swaying, without any form of control or pattern.. i tried to be strong.. now, my heart is weary, and i finally realise that i can't take it all in anymore.. i'm going to falter, fall any moment.. i've got to find a way to release all this problems that have been troubling me-quickly..
